This article contains opinion. Taylor is the anti-Christmas position. Slebodnick is the pro-Christmas side.
Taylor’s Take: AGAINST
No, don’t call me the heat miser, but I’m still going to light up Christmas with this article.
An unusual piece coming from the “all things right, no things wrong” sports analyst, but c'mon, people, that’s in all aspects of my life.
They say the holiday season is a time for family, friends and rejoicing. However, nowadays, all we see is strung-out parents, overcrowded roadways and too many damn commercials. It is safe to say the holidays are RUINED!
I’m sure there are plenty of electric souls out there like myself who try and make the best of all situations, but the soulless season approaching is a struggle for all. So sit down, shut up and drink some milk. Santa isn’t real.
Who in the flying roody doo reindeer poo is Santa Claus?
I cannot believe we were all stupid enough to believe a big fat hairy white man watched us while we slept and kept a list of all of our naughty actions. As if that doesn’t sound bad enough, once a year, the man slips into your house when everyone is asleep, rewards the rich kids and punishes the poor.
How jolly is that? When you’re a kid, you don’t give a damn about how precious time is with your family. Matter of fact, kids only care about how hard the elves are working in Santa’s sweatshop to get them the new Nerf a** blaster 1000. They have no clue their parents are working overtime to buy them the hottest new trends.
All the movies push the narrative that, the more you believe in Santa, the better Christmas will be. Children should know that doing more chores at an efficient rate will get their parent's approval for better gifts, rather than doing the bare minimum, believing in Santa and getting pissed off when he brings the wrong gift down the imaginary chimney they don’t have.
I’m not saying there isn’t beauty left in the holiday; there just isn’t beauty in materialism.
I know it doesn’t help when every main character who has the most joy in every Christmas movie gets bullied half to hell. Rudolph, Elf, Del Griffith, Clark Griswold, all the misfit toys. Hell, Kevin McAlister gets forgotten about by everyone in his family. That’s probably the reason he’s capable of such contraptions.
Don’t even get me started on how every girl thinks some guy is gonna sweep her off her feet and get married at the North Pole. No, the guy cares about one thing and one thing only. He needs someone to buy him the new “Call of Duty” because he’s too old for Santa Claus.
Of course, there is still joy in the holiday season. Who doesn’t enjoy untangling all the lights, stepping on pine needles and faking a smile when Uncle Jack gives you Axe body spray?
I am not trying to be a Grinch in any way whatsoever. It is a hot take article for a reason. Everyone enjoy your holiday break, spend time with family, friends or whatever makes you happy. Volunteer in your community and give back. If you have the technology and time to read this article, you have time to help those worse off.
So sit down, shut up and make a difference.
Less-Essential Jake’s Counter: PRO
I want to preface by saying I agree that Christmas has become a materialistic holiday rather than a celebration of family and the birth of Jesus Christ.
One thing I have to oppose is the generalization that everyone does this.
But to utter the statement that the stronger the belief in Santa, the better the holiday is absolutely ludicrous. There are still people out there that take the holiday for what it’s meant to be.
You cannot place blame on children for believing in Santa since that adds to the magic of Christmas.
Remember waking up at 5 a.m. to drag your groggy parents out of bed to see what Santa brought them for a good demeanor? Remember the looks on your parents’ faces when your face glowed with joy when you got something you spent countless nights praying for?
The excitement and magic that surrounded that is something that cannot be reached when children are told that there is no Santa.
But those principles are what Christmas is about.
There are others out there, however, that stick to the true morals of the holiday season.
My family is a good example.
Every Christmas, instead of focusing on what we get, we gather around our dining room table and enjoy an authentic Polish Christmas dinner with my aunts that are happy just to make it to another Christmas with us.
We share stories about past holiday celebrations, enjoy traditional food (i.e. fish, babalki, haluski, etc.) and enjoy each other’s company.
Additionally, we turn on the television to indulge in our favorite Christmas film, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Clark Griswold is bullied, but rather is bothered by inconveniences that I’m sure multiple families go through each Christmas season.
The annoying cousin, the corrupt boss and family disarray, while cliche, is relatable among the public. Plus it adds for a hilarious family movie.
Rudolph, Kevin McAlister and the other misfit toys are not just thrown into movies to be bullied alone, but rather are taught a valuable lesson that they are perfect the way they are, rather than just rubbish in the world.
Rudolph found purpose in his red nose.
Kevin McAlister found his intelligence and his courage to face intruders.
The misfit toys found purpose in their imperfections, which is something we are taught to embrace when we are young.
On the assumption about love around Christmas, I agree that no one should expect to be swept off their feet during the holiday season.
But making the “men want one thing” generalization and saying guys seek love to get the new “Call of Duty” game is ridiculous.
I’m not saying there aren’t people out there that do that, and to them I cast shame, but the majority of couples around Christmas don’t even care about gifts.
Normally, it’s secretly getting your significant other something that you know they want but don’t voice because they would sound selfish. Not to mention, I know plenty of couples that just want to be with each other and celebrate the holiday with.
Hell, for a single guy like myself, I would love nothing more than to spend Christmas with someone I admire rather than a video game.
And what’s wrong with Axe body spray? I love smelling like a middle school locker room after gym.
There are still people out there that give a sh*t about customary holiday ideals rather than turning everything into a metaphoric price tag.
Those are the people we need to put at the fore-front of the Christmas holiday, instead of making the generalization that everyone wants the materials.
Also we shouldn’t forget the magic behind the season.
After that debate, I need to quote Clark Griswold, “Where’s the Tylenol?”