Jealousy, insecurity turn women 'catty'

Everyone knows that the hit movie “Mean Girls” could’ve really happened.

Women are vicious to each other. They are catty and abusive and talk behind each other’s backs and tell each other’s secrets.

That’s the stereotype, but what’s the truth? Are women really meaner to each other than guys are? Are all the problems caused by estrogen and men? Why does everyone think that girls can’t get along?

Maureen McHugh, professor of psychology, disputes the stereotype.

“Girls and women are variable — they are not all alike,” she said. “It doesn’t seem reasonable if you think of it [as if] we would all like each other and always get along.”

“There is some research suggesting that girls and women are more likely to use relational or indirect aggression than are boys and men,” she said.

Relational aggression is using words as a weapon and excluding others.

Anita McFarren (sophomore, music theater interdisciplinary fine arts) said the stereotyping is unfair, but not completely unfounded.

“I think girls don’t get along because they feel like they have to be the prettiest or whatever, probably because they’re insecure about themselves,” she said. “But boys can be really harsh on each other, too, especially when they make fun of each other.”

She says that she plans on living with male roommates next year.

“If I was living with girls, it would be drama all the time,” she said.

So why can’t women get along?

There are many possibilities, but the main answers seem to be jealousy and competition.

Betsy Crane, sociology professor, noted that jealousy between women is not new, but its developments are not.

“I think society sets girls up to compete with each other, primarily for male attention,” Crane said. “And I think it carries over into day-to-day life.”

Noting that she was working from speculation, not data, she said that in job settings, women have become very competitive with each other because society is still adjusting to women in the workplace.

“Women are moving into a new sphere and gaining power. Through this, though, they’re having to learn how to relate to each other and to men in different ways,” she said. “I think — for both females and males who think they have to put other people down to feel better about themselves — they feel insecure about themselves.”

Insecurity could explain why young women are typically harshest on each other during the teenage years, when a lack of self-confidence is common.

If jealousy is the problem, McHugh has some advice.

“Maybe it helps for people to reflect on what they really want,” she said. “They are more likely to get what they want by asking for it directly, but often they are not fully aware of what they want.”

Kira Walters (senior, journalism) is no Dr. Phil, but she has some advice of her own.

“Try to figure out where the feelings are coming from,” she said. “Decide whether it’s truly justified.”

Regardless of the cause, women are going to be nice to each other all of the time. Even nice girls can turn mean, but that’s true of nice boys, too.