"Jo Jo, what did you learn today?" asks a sing-song voice on Playhouse Disney's "Jo Jo's Circus," as my five-year-old son dances and learns with the music.
I'm grateful that my son enjoys exploring the world, learning of life and his relations with other people. But my son is not the only one requiring guidance in social interaction. Years of living in seclusion due to ill health left me lacking in this regard. That and I've just always had a naïve and child-like nature that has often left me open for pain.
And a child-like nature can bring both the good and the bad.
It can be incredibly difficult not to act childish, especially when you are hurt by someone else's marked immaturity. If someone is talking and laughing about you behind your back, the first instinct is to reciprocate in kind.
Our defense mechanisms set us up to stoop to their level and try to hurt them in return. I'm finding, however, that sometimes it is best to confront a person directly in an attempt to solve whatever differences he or she has with you.
And sometimes, I have learned that just walking away, leaving that person alone in their bitterness, is the preferable course of action.
The advice bouncing around in my head all week has been, "Just because they are acting like they are in high school doesn't mean that you have to as well."
That is such simple advice, but it gave me great pause to realize that I alone am responsible for my reactions to such stimuli. I cannot change another's behavior -- except perhaps if their attitude towards me is a direct result of an aspect of my personality I need to correct -- but I am in control of how I react to them.
This presents me with the challenge of how to respond the next time I am in that situation. The next occurrence should be individually assessed to determine the apapropriate course of action.
What I should not do is handle it in the admittedly childish way I did the last time: running to another friend to find an ally against this perceived threat.
I was also immature enough to attempt quitting a position that brings me in direct contact with this individual, to avoid confrontation instead of dealing with our differences.
But I'm desperately trying to "grow up." Are you?
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