Friday, as I walked back from class, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a car with about a dozen or so bumper stickers plastered on the back.
There quite possibly could have been more than 12 because the owner had them stuck on the bumper, bottom of the rear window, the trunk and on both rear fenders. An assortment of political slogans were posted. One was for Dean, another for Nader, but four intrigued me enough that I decided to write about them.
The first one read, "You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake." I'm not advocating war nor am I saying that America's most recent endeavor was right or wrong, but let's just assume for a second that you can't "win a war." The word "earthquake," as defined in any dictionary, can only occur as a noun. "War" can be a noun or a verb, so the reason you can never win an earthquake has nothing to with some lofty idea that "everyone comes out a loser." It's because "war can be waged," "countries war with each other" or "one can participate in a war," but there is no way that "one can participate in an earthquake." Nevertheless, I found the play on words creative and humorous.
The next sticker was more agitating than comical. It said, "God bless the whole world, no exceptions."
What kind of a "god" do they think God is? More appropriately, what was the bumper sticker manufacturer thinking? "God" is only capitalized when in reference to the god observed in the Judeo-Christian tradition. One of us must be wrong because God, in the sense that I know Him, is just, and true blessings are given only to the faithful. Is this person trying to tell me that God smiles down and bestows blessings upon the Osama Bin Ladens or Charles Mansons of the world? Now, folks such as these might change their ways. I'm not sentencing them to hell, but they'll get whatever they deserve someday. For whomever this may concern, I have a message for you -- don't be so na�ve.
These last two have to be discussed in unison. One says, "We are making enemies faster than we can kill them," and the other says, "If we kill the innocent -- we become the enemy." I don't want to pull the 9/11 card, but it illustrates the point perfectly.
Did al-Qaida become our enemy by killing our innocent, or are we creating said terrorists (unless none of the 3,000-plus who died on 9/11 were innocent)? Maybe all Americans are arrogant, evil and deserve to burn in collapsing skyscrapers. Or maybe third-world crackpots aren't to be held to the same standards that we greedy, industrialized, ethnocentric westerners are, and al-Qaida can't make enemies, only become made enemies.
So, go ahead, and live in your utopian ivory tower, Mr. or Miss self-hating, bumper -sticker person. I'll tolerate your warped worldview, but I certainly don't respect your opinion. If you're reading this right now, whoever you are, please write back. I'd like to hear you defend the ridiculous suppositions you have plastered all over your vehicle.
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